Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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