I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
