She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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