You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
