Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
