I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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