AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
