Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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