So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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