my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
