Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
