i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I could fuck to npr.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
