Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
