you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
