I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
