is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
