the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
