dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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