Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
sex in a hospital.. check
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
