If i come over, it means nothing
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
