I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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