Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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