You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
