shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
