I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I will be naked everywhere
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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