just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got inside last night via doggy door
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
