I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize