You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
