It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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