I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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