We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize