Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
MIDGETS
????
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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