To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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