Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize