I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
