You work out of a Hotel?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
A+ Viking dick
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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