No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize