Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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