I'm lost and stupid without you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
