Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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