Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
