That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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