What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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