the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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