I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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