My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
