***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
false alarm. still invincible.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
