There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
