do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize