at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize