I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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