This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
