that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
