pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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