dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This is my gift to your gina
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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