didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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