Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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