Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
