Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
and you fell through a lawn chair
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
