Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
