on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize