i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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