i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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