he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
