after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
