Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
