I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
