He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
